Sunday, March 6, 2011

Ladies Night

On Thursday as Haley and I were sitting in the hallway waiting to go to IMC class, she asked me if I had ever been to a place called "Stoney's," a bar/nightclub on the very south end of the Strip.  I sat going through all of the places I've been in town and I had never been to Stoney's (all truth be told, I had no idea what it was...).  Well, after a convincing argument on Haley's end, along with the endorsement of the location by several other students in the class, she convinced me to go out for Ladies Night.   On our usual walk to the cars after class we decided to go get mani/pedi's together before we went out, we left school to meet up for our mani/pedi's at 4:30 p.m.

Now, as we know, I was pretty beat up about KP standing me up.  However, to my credit, I didn't give him a hard time about it.  I just took it on the chin and was polite about everything.  After all, he's my pal and my partner in crime that I've treasured his friendship for almost three years, so being stood up for a Skype date, I was crushed, but not to the point I was ready to sacrifice our friendship over it.  As I heard once, a person that's able to deal with their emotions can be upset at their friends, but then they're able to understand the circumstances and forgive them.  Well, thanks to my Personal Growth class and a bit of work on my end, even though I do consider myself a "leftover" sometimes, it doesn't mean I need to cut myself off completely from someone I treasure.  KP and I've been through too much together and I'll be honest and hold up the mirror on myself and speak the truth: when it comes to him, I'm a lost cause and a giant mush ball of forgiveness.

So, when Haley asked me to go to Ladies Night, who do you think was the first person I called?  Yep, KP.  On the phone while driving home from school, I asked him what he thought of me going out and his general opinion on the situation.  Ok, I'll be honest, I wanted to hear him say he didn't want me to go out.  (Ok, I wanted a sign he cared...yes, it's pathetic, but I'm kind of set in my ways, I like to have some external approval even though it is unnecessary.)  But, he didn't, he actually encouraged me to go out and have a good time.  I pondered with him over my biggest fear of the whole prospect of going out..."What if I get hit on?  What do I do?"  He laughed with me over the very ludicrous question...which is funny in a way, but given how I feel about that crazy Hawaiian, it was necessary to communicate the possibilities.  On my end, I'm not comfortable in the least with dating anyone here in town.  In my opinion, if I'm going to date, it's going to be KP or no one at all.  After three years, yeah, I'm not looking to explore any other option.   He was a little more realistic than I was, but he did caution me, "All it takes is once..." meaning of course the pitfalls that go along with meeting people.  I think it was his way of discouraging me and giving me the old "keep your arms and hands inside the vehicle at all times" spiel I recited a thousand times at Disney World.  He was telling me to be careful, but at the same time I think he was very subtly telling me to keep my hands to myself and tell everyone else to keep their hands to themselves.  So, yes, he said "Go have fun," but he also reminded me where my safe zone was.  Yeah...but in my self-depreciating manner, I knew the night would be filled with a lot of funny incidents, but gratefully no pickup lines flung in my direction.

After I finished up with KP, I stopped in at the nail salon and got appointments for Haley and myself.  Promptly at 4:30 p.m., she and I sat and got matching toenails!  Fun stuff, I've never went for a mani/pedi with a gal pal, so it was a real treat.  An hour and a half later, we were all done and I went home to start preparing to go out while Haley went home to get her gluten-free dinner.  (She's allergic to wheat products so going out to eat is tough on her.)   At around 8:30 p.m., Haley showed up at my apartment and we talked about all sorts of stuff, from romance novels to her sick cat while I got ready.

So, finally, after getting ready and giving me a chance to eat dinner, we left the house and arrived at Stoney's around 11 p.m.  At first glance, I noticed something that immediately made me apprehensive, Stoney's is a country-western bar.  Ok, I grew up in a pissant Texas town, I know all about the phenomenon known as a honky-tonk.  After arriving at the valet area so we didn't have to walk two miles to get back to the car, I looked at the people entering the bar, and I have to say, I was not in the least inspired to walk through the door and into the establishment.

Stoney's reminded me immediately of two nightclubs, that as time passes, kind of act as a sign post reminding me of where I've been in my life.   One club was called "The Bluebonnet Palace" a horrible little country/western bar that was in between New Braunfels and San Antonio.  I remember the Bluebonnet, we used to go there because we could go dance and you didn't need to be 21 to get in.  When I think about the Bluebonnet, I just want to shudder.  All I remember is cowboys, country western music (which I still hate to this day) and to be honest, it just reminds me of all of my childhood trauma, so I always did my best to forget about that place.  Another bar Stoney's reminded me of was one I used to work at, "The Beach."  The Beach was a lot more fun, I was a go-go dancer and had a neat little title of "Diversities Coordinator" which meant that I taught the bar staff all of the choreographed skits we used to do.  It was great.  I mean what other job can you do in your 20's that has you doing six hours of cardio a night?  I used to get paid to wear the hippest club clothes and dance to awesome music, I mean can it get any better than that?  But back then I also got introduced to not totally great, but not horrible either.  While we were standing in Stoney's, I looked up and saw two go-go dancers on their little platforms in their club outfits and smiled to myself, remembering the days of The Beach.  But go-go dancers in a country-western bar?  Yikes.  The part that made me laugh the hardest was the folks line dancing and the go-go dancers doing the steps on their little platforms.  It made me laugh.

What's worse is that Haley and all of the students who gave Stoney's such a shining review told me that there were "a good variety of people" who went there.  Ok, none of them were over 30 much less sneaking up on 40.  Of course you had what I like to refer to as "mashers," those really old creepy men who go to those places out of desperation. I get it, they're lonely and I really do feel sorry for them, but come on, some genius didn't invent the phrase "age appropriate" for no reason.  Then let's just make it worse, the girl we saw on the way to the bathroom that was stripper dancing to country western music.  Haley and I stood aghast, laughing our heads off going "Nooooooooo!  That's so wrong!"  We laughed a lot walking through the bar citing all of "oh, no, they're not..." and "oh my god I'm blind!"  What really raised my hackles was a young man who as we passed by him in the tight, cramped quarters, was his making fun of my common courtesy of an "excuse me gentlemen" so that way we didn't rudely shove him to make room as we passed by.  I stood there absolutely befuddled, I use a common courtesy and I get laughed at for it?  I'm still amazed by that.  Did his parents just forget to give him manners?

Speaking of "age appropriate," I looked at Haley, she fit right in, of course, she's 27, thin as a rail with not a single wrinkle on her face, of course she fit in!  As we walked around the bar, it became even more evident what the manicurist had asked me while we were getting our mani/pedi's..."Is she your daughter?"  OUCH.  I should have seen it for what it was, a sign, because as we walked through the bar, I got looked at as if I was far too old to be there on top of the fact that the people there didn't even begin to go into my "good looking" category.  Ok, stop, we have to stop for one, a very handsome Polynesian guy.  You guessed right, he reminded me of KP.  I stood there whimpering and realizing how far gone I am over KP.  I'll spare you another round of my pathetic moaning about 2500 miles, like me, you've had enough already.

After traversing the bar, being looked at like I didn't belong there, which Haley said I "outclassed the place," we left and headed for our next destination, The Hard Rock Hotel to lounge a bit and try to digest and slough off the ewww that was Stoney's.  It was a bit more "age appropriate" for me and you know what?  All of the guys my age were at home in bed with their wives.  That's all I can say about it.  Haley and I had gone from hillbilly hell to a mausoleum.  It was just bad.

As Haley and I got our drinks, we looked around and Haley asked me which level of Dante's hell the Hard Rock Center Bar fit into on a Thursday night and I realized it was like the ninth level of hell with all of the traitors frozen in ice.  It was stagnant, the faces all sort of lifeless, and creepy as hell.  I saw people my age, but as Sheila Kelly's character said in the movie Singles, "Desperation, it's the world's worst cologne."  The guys there reeked of it.  After one drink, Haley and I called it a night, looking at the bright side, that at least I was out of the apartment.

Upon arriving home at 1 a.m., I did what I promised KP on the phone earlier in the day, that I'd jump on the computer when I got home and tell him how it went.  You know, I got all dressed up, did my hair, had the nails done, the whole kit and caboodle only to come home to what I had really wanted...KP turned on Skype, and we had our first Skype date with our webcams on.  Go ahead, do an "awwww" with me.  I sat in my comfortable chair with a Mike's Hard Pink Lemonade and had a drink with a guy I dig.  Wait, wasn't that the point of going out?  But wait, I get that by staying in?  I'M SO CONFUSED!  (Go ahead, laugh, I know I am.)  But oh, he's sooooo dreamy.  That's my KP, gorgeous, smart, funny and on top of that, he admitted that he messed up by standing me up.  Ok, is he not awesome?  I look at it this way, he's a guy who I can't totally idealize, he messes up, he makes me mad, but at the end of it all, I can't stay mad at him, he's got so much nutritional value and he does spoil me rotten.  What I wouldn't give for a plane ticket.

Anyhow, it's funny, I did go out for ladies night but came home to spend time with the guy I really like.  I didn't really need to go out even, but I get the point, I went outside, I had fun with Haley, no bones got broken, so overall, I'd call it a decent evening.

So, for your song of the day, (I finally found a way to play it on my blog!  Yes!)  the song that I always play and think of KP, "Wish" by Letters Lost.

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