Tuesday, July 6, 2010

It's KP's Birthday...

Today's post is all about one of the coolest guys I've ever met.  He's the reason I play "Wish" by Letters Lost on my iTunes all the time and sing at the top of my lungs, "Oh how I wish you were here!!!!"

I think it's a lot different when you meet people after 35.  It's odd.  It's where life experiences mingle with good energies and let you see people for who they are, beyond appearances and really down to the quick of who they are.  I think after 35, our bullshit tolerance goes up or down considerably when it comes to dealing with other people.  When you see a quality in someone that you recognize from your past and remember it had toxic nutritional value, you steer clear.  However, when you come into contact with individuals who have qualities that you recognize from your past, reminding you of experiences that had great nutritional value, you gravitate towards them.

Well, from the get-go, when I first heard KP's voice almost three years ago, I thought to myself, "oh, I wish he had been around when I was single."  He's one of those guys, from the second you meet him, you just recognize as cool.   You see, KP has an infectious energy about him.   He just attracts people to him.  He listens, he's wise far beyond his years and he's one of those guys that you just let everything pour out because you feel so comfortable talking to him.  Every single day that I get to hang around and talk with him is a day I feel like I won the lottery.

Well, now that I'm single again, he's still around.  Talk about good luck!  I consider myself very fortunate to count him as one of my friends, he's just that great.  If I'm never anything but his  friend, I'll still count myself very lucky.

I remember the day that the ex walked out like it was yesterday.  I first called my parents.  I let them know what happened, where I had found my ex and that he and his possessions had left the building.  Then I called my friend Jon and let him know what had gone down.  I was freaked out.  I won't even deny it.  I was shaking, I was choking back sobs, I was just a regal mess.  But that's the part my parents and my friend Jon didn't see.  What they saw was the other side of the coin.  The one where I was relieved that my ex was gone.  I cheered at the fact that he and his locust-like habits had hit the door and wouldn't plague me anymore.  But then after finishing phone calls, I frantically went to my computer...the one guy I needed most in the world to talk to was KP.  I knew he had walked the road I was on and had come out the other side and was fairly happy given the crappy cards he had been dealt.  I turned on WoW and Ventrillo and prayed, "Oh please KP, be there."  Lucky for me, he was.

I whispered him, "Can you get on Vent, I'm having a major emergency."  It didn't take but two seconds until I heard the Hawaiian accent of one of my favorite friends in-game.  He asked me what happened and I laid it ALL out.  Every little last dirty detail.  I started to cry.  I started blaming myself.  I asked him over and over what was so wrong with me that my ex could do such a thing.  I asked him repeatedly if what had happened was my fault.  Was I that difficult?  Was I that horrible or ugly?  Most of all, I just broke down and wept.  The whole time, KP sat in the eye of the storm with me, patiently listening and telling me that it wasn't entirely my fault; that I had a part that I played in the whole ordeal and that there was really nothing at that point I could do anything about.   He was proud of me for being proactive and not allowing myself to be walked on anymore.  Most of all, he told me the truth.  He didn't sugarcoat much.  He broke it down and reminded me that it was my ex that had cheated on me; that what the ex did was on HIM, not me and that they were his actions, not mine.  Most of all, KP told me that this was now my time to build a bridge and get over it.  He reinforced that I had to get up and live.  KP said that it was going to take time before I felt better, that there would be ups and downs, but soon life would find its own state of normal without the ex running around and fouling things up.  More than a year later, every single word he said was right.  It didn't take me too long to realize that KP is wise beyond his years.

Since that dreadful day, I've spent almost every evening talking to KP until the wee hours of the morning.  I know, I'm horrible for staying up so late, but when it's time spent with someone with that much nutritional value, I'm extremely reticent to hit "disconnect" on the voice-over-IP software.  It's always painful when I hit disconnect...I feel like I'm losing a limb when I do it.  But, in a way, he sort of sticks with me.  When I'm out in the world, I look around and things remind me of him.  If I go to a movie, I immediately wish he was with me so that we could talk about it until all the flavor is gone out of the subject matter.

Our guildies in WoW liken KP and I to some old married couple.  We constantly argue.  We're always going back and forth, one upping each other, poking, prodding and giving each other a hard time.  If we're together, it's a verbal joust.  If we can argue about it, we have and all of our guildies listen to me and KP go at it and they all walk away shaking their heads.  But the coolest thing of all, we finish each other's sentences and we usually stick together like glue.

After the Ex left, KP went to task and started spoiling me rotten in game.  First out of the gate was a Bronze Drake from the Culling of Stratholme.  I didn't have one yet, so he dragged everyone through the instance even before we had outgeared the place and rushed to make sure I got it.  You know, my ex bought me an engagement ring that cost $15,000.  The Drake that sits in the inventory of my pixelized cartoon druid means more to me now than that ring ever did.  If there is some neat thing I say I want, KP gets it for me or takes me to get it.  Just two days ago I was making flasks for Rel's raid stock.  What do I find in my mailbox yesterday?  A whole stack of the flasks I use for my healing set from him with a sweet note attached.  We go PvP'ing together, he's even taken his three-seater mammoth to the "mammoth wash" to take me out adventuring somewhere.   It doesn't matter what I'm doing, he's always trying to help, he's always right there for me.  When I'm grouchy, he tells me to calm down.  When I'm happy, he laughs with me.

I spent ten years with a man who was allergic to showing emotion, so much so that I nicknamed the Ex "The Iceman".  What I like so much about KP, and why I think he's so incredible, is that he's not afraid to show his emotions and he's never shy about not being perfect.  He belches really loud, he likes Spam (eww), he cusses more than I do, he can get raunchy, be cross, he swears at people in PvP, he gets upset, and most of all, he will lay the truth down to almost anyone.  He's very direct.  But you know, to me, it makes him that much more lovable.  

Another groovy thing about KP is that our life experiences are very similar.  We've traveled, we read similar books, hung around with the famous people (which we both agree that famous people are just people and they go to the bathroom, same as we do, so neither of us are impressed with fame), and we value the same types of things in people.  We're both world class romantics.  We have gone on for hours about books.  Last night we found out that we both love William Gibson novels.  I've even sent him a book on one of his favorite subjects, werewolves.

I remember one night after a KP-Rel adventure, it struck me that he needed to feel special just as much as I did.  He had gone through so much trouble to do so many nice things for me, I thought it only right to give him something special in return.  So, the next day, I headed down to the Hallmark shop, picked up some brand new stationary and wrote him a handwritten letter.  I don't have the neatest handwriting, but when you're separated over distance, the very romantic thing to do is send a letter that you've touched and you can see the indentions on the page from the pressure of writing on it.  What's more romantic than to have something in your hands that had been touched and sent by someone who is special to you.

During breaks between classes during the spring semester, every Tuesday in fact, I sat outside in the warm spring air, opened my notebook to the last pages and penned him a letter.  I've got so many stacked up that I've not sent that I'm going to have to package them all up and send them all at once, dated, so that he reads them in the right order.  It's always so funny when he gets one of my letters.  It's me impatiently asking, "Did you get it?" followed by "Did you read it yet?"  He laughs and says, "No, I'm savoring it."

Now, you'd think that I've met him in person.   Nope.  I haven't yet.  Every day I wish for some sort of miracle that would put me on a plane to Hawaii, but the only person that can get me there is me.  Some people want to go to Hawaii for it's sandy beaches and tropical island locale.  No.  Not me.  I could care less about the scenery.  The only thing I want to see in Hawaii is KP and his three sweet, darling kids.  And let me tell you, those three sweethearts are his masterpiece.  Every night wouldn't be right without hearing those three voices yelling "Hi Sheri!!"  They just make me melt.  The one thing I can't forget to say about KP is that he's the most amazing Dad I've ever seen.

But it's funny, because if I'd be sitting right next to him right now, it wouldn't be like I just met him.  I know him too well for that.  It's kind of weird, but when I've spoken to him almost every day for the last two years, even though it is via the computer, he doesn't seem so far away and he most certainly isn't a stranger.  At first, he was a disembodied voice.  Then the pictures started going back and forth, then our voices had faces.  I could probably pick him out of a crowd very easily.  But every day, I wish he was here.  But when I think about it, he's not far away.  One of my favorite things in the world is every night when he says, "'Night Sweetie Pie", I go to sleep with a smile on my face.

You know, building a bridge and getting over things has become really easy with KP's help.  He's wonderful human being.  And today is his birthday.  You know, the hardest gift to find is for the one person who has themselves been such a gift and saving grace.  He's an amazing person that I wish everyone could be around and see why I think he's so incredibly special.

Oh KP, how I wish you were here.  Happy Birthday.

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