Seeing Red.

Today, I'm off to the DMV to get rid of my Springs Preserve license plate.  You know, I really don't want to be reminded of the place where some $2 Kentucky whore found it acceptable to make off with my ex.  That place is just a blight on this city and I don't want to advertise it on my bumper.  It's just not worth it.

But here's where I start to get really annoyed.  I mean REALLY annoyed.  Going through the paperwork that the ex left in a total mess, to make sure I had the proper paper work in the car to take with me to the DMV, you know, insurance papers, registration stuff, etc.  I happen upon an envelope.  You know, I always say, if you're premeditating doing something that hurts someone else, don't leave any evidence for them to find.  Better yet, just don't fucking do it.  It's not hard to use common sense.

But since when has that lowlife...insert string of VERY obscene profanities...ex of mine ever had common sense to pee on?
NEVER.

Never in the 10 years have I known the man has he ever had one shred of common sense.  I mean he's got 4 degrees!!!!  Somehow, somewhere something had to have rubbed off, right?  HELL NO!

....Insert another very long string of S-words, F-words, some MF's and some C-words...I am THAT ticked off...

Just wait until you read what was IN the envelope...

It was a set of receipts that chronologically...I mean the man put them in chronological order...of all of the things he did with that bassett hound faced bitch.  The breakfasts every Saturday AND Sunday morning, the Ivory taper candles, the candle holders, the BDSM equipment, which I shan't list here, because I know some of you would faint dead away if you saw what was on there...the endless list of lunches he bought her, and the cherry on the cake?  Well, he said he bought her one $75 piece of jewelry...remember me finding out about that one?  Well, the lying sack of shit bought her a $200 diamond and amethyst necklace!  IN CASH!  And he leaves the receipt here?  Was he smoking dope?  I mean how colossally stupid do you have to be to leave the evidence of your affair in plain sight?  That's not one but TWO pieces of jewelry he bought her.  I was married to the man for 7 years and that piece of shit never bought me anything I didn't have to beg for!!!  Jewelry?  For me?  NEVER.  If I wanted to do something or get something it was always "We'll look into that" which as you know was his normal dismissal which was a very blatant "NO".

I mean he had 5 affairs in a 7 year marriage and I never found out about any of them until when I found out about that bassett hound faced bitch and CAUGHT HIM AT HER HOUSE!  Not to mention the 30 pages of text messages, the incessant texting right in front of me and all they lying that sick, sad motherfucker did.  And now, a year later...A YEAR!  I'm finding even more things he lied about. 

He called me the other day to check on me and when I told him how well everything was going with school, he started crying on the phone, like he wanted to come home.

I swear to the gods, if I got my hands on him right now, I don't know what I'd do to him but let me tell you, none of it would be nice!  I just ran out of every single last SHRED of guilt I had for him bailing out on me and packing up with that bitch of his and moving to Kentucky. 

He had the AUDACITY to bitch to me how the people in Kentucky had horrible speech and how you could cut the gravy with a knife and all of his complaining about how uncivilized it was.  YOU KNOW WHAT?  He made his bed, now he can lie in it! 

I have been in a never-ending shame spiral because I always blamed myself for all the things he did.  You know what, no one in their right mind would do the things he did for any reason.  That's just malicious bullshit that I can not bear to even believe I could drive someone to that level of absolute idiocy.  What he did is now on him.  And I hold the documentation.  Gods help him when the divorce lawyers get done with him, because I've got ample, AMPLE evidence of all of his stuff.  What is he going to hold over my head?  A World of Warcraft subscription?  Please.

You know, that's the fun part about being the one who's squeaky clean in this.  With what he's done, I look cleaner than the pope!

And everyone asks me why I don't leave the house, why I don't date and why I just stick to my studies, online worlds and my family. 

OMG.  I am about ready to take off like a rocket.  But you know what, I'm going to save it up.  I'm going to get calm and put all that paperwork in a safe place and then when it comes time I'm going to let him have it with both barrels.

Enough with the shame spiral.  He just built the bridge for me to get over it.

As far as I'm concerned, Kentucky wasn't far enough away.  He needs to drive right into the Atlantic and drown.