Sunday, February 26, 2012

Billy, the Oscars, Twitter and...

Ok, the show is over and everyone has been thanked, even the dog.

I'd like to thank Lucky and the Academy....

Classiest moment:  Christopher Plummer getting an Oscar at age 82, looking at it and saying, "You're only 2 years older than me.  Where have you been all my life."  Very sweet and if you doubted for a moment that he's Canadian, just his small nod to his Corps d'Esprit au Francais and you knew he was bilingual in a heartbeat.

This year's Oscars were my first time out as a member of the Twitterati...and I have to say, I might have tweeted too much, but I seriously doubt it, since I have only 5 followers.  LOL.

My tweets for the night can be found at:!/etrnl_sophomore.  But, if you're not into digging through all that, here's my faves of the night...

6:43 pm - Tony Stark & Pepper Potts present an . No, not a promo for. Lol
6:58 pm - I hope someone has their finger on the bleep button for Melissa Leo.
7:54 pm - Note: the dog has been thanked. 

Directly after tweeting about the dog, I thought to myself, I guess everyone and their dog has been thanked...but isn't it a little early to tweet that?  The show wasn't even over yet!

Oy veh, the news is playing behind me, Sasha Baron Cohen did something idiotic, enough to be mentioned on the news...which makes me want to look at my Ethics Professor and ask, "Was that really newsworthy?"

Back to the show though...




We remember me going through "It's Complicated."  From writhing in my seat in the theater because it was too soon after my ex left, to three years later when I can now heartily laugh and get all the way through it without an issue.  On the stage at the Oscars tonight, Meryl got out her glasses to present an award and to my complete surprise and joy, they were the exact same glasses that she wore in "It's Complicated."

7:57 pm - Omg! Meryl is wearing her glasses...the same glasses she wore in "It's Complicated" 

Not but a few minutes later:  8:29 pm - Go !!!! Yaaaaaaay!   when she won for best actress.  

Let's be clear, the fact she's been nominated 17 times is a sign - she's that great.  I'm glad she won!  However, the Twitterati weren't as convinced as I was.  I saw Tweets that said Viola Davis (loved her in Eat Pray Love) should have won for her role in The Help.  Others were upset about Michelle Williams not getting the nod for My Week with Marilyn.  I didn't see anyone get upset over Rooney Mara's loss, nor did we see anyone get upset over anyone else...

Hold it, we have to stop for a moment on Rooney Mara.  Now, that is a very young girl.  She's 26.  Since she is 26, I want to slap the head off of the moron who picked her dress.  As I was watching the red carpet coverage before the show, I was on a voice chat with RJ.  I stopped everything I was doing when I saw her dress, keyed the mic and RJ heard:

"Oh.  My.  God.  No.  They couldn't be so cruel to that young woman.  You should see her dress.  You know, my bust is something that I can't get around or hide so I like for it to sit up high, a shelf if you will.  The dress they put on that poor girl looks like her boobs are sagging down to her whatevers.  Really?"

Sufficed to say, Rooney Mara's dress was a disaster, probably the worst dress coupled with the worst hairdo... Asian bangs with a bun?  Um, sorry Rooney, but no, don't ever do that again.  Between the saggy boobs on such a young body and a hairdo that was just repulsive, I hope she comes back next year with something a bit more stunning.

Three way tie for favorite red carpet look:

Jessica Chastain (The Help)
Penelope Cruz
Sandra Bullock
Now that's some serious elegance.  Far and away Penelope Cruz stood out and I'm thrilled to see Pedro Amaldovar's "It" girl glisten in the early spring sun.

Tonight on the Oscars, I heard a lot of French.  Oui!  J'ai fait! (I did.)  From Monsieur Plummer to Monsieur Dujardin...which probably have both gone "eh tabarnac!  J'ai gagné!" which translates roughly to mean "holy crap I won!"  Yeah!  Lots of French, but since we've ventured into the rest of the world outside of Hollywood, you know I gotta do it, the list of "why in heavens did you do that?"

The foreign language film that won this year is from Iran.  When the director of the film went on stage to accept, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.  In the back of my mind, the PR practitioner in me said, "Oh God, don't do it, please, please, let me be wrong..." I wasn't.  You guessed it, out of the film maker's mouth came a political mini-treatise.   I did, I facepalmed right then and there.  I figure that when you're honored for your work, let it be about the work, not about the political BS that goes on around it.  All he needed to say was "Thank you Academy.  Thanks to my kids, wife, etc, etc, even the dog..." but to include international politics?   Politics in acceptance speeches went out with Susan Sarandon's and Tim Robbins marriage and Michael Moore mouthing off about Bush II.   

I really wanted to go around this, but since I did it last year, I have to do it again. instead of the James Franco fiasco I wrote about last year, we have Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis, probably the worst two offenders to my delicate sensibilities since Chris Farley.  Just having to write about them make me want to soak my entire person in bleach to get the filth off.  A million scrub brushes could not get the stank of their performance out of Oscar history and for that I'm just mortified.  I tweeted:  "Sweet lordy, I've found a bathroom break, it's called Will Ferrell and Zach G."  I couldn't watch.  When I saw Will Ferrell step over the orchestra barrier in that blinding white tuxedo, I said, "Oh HELL no" and took myself to the bathroom.  But let's add insult to injury because those two can't help but insult intelligence and good taste... Zach Galifianakis decided that he was going to close cut his beard (which he already looks like human filth) and leave his mustache long.  Ok kids, let's break it down and I'm not going to be nice because I don't have to...the man looks like white trash and he had the audacity to show up at the Oscars, THE OSCARS mind you, looking just like he stepped out of The Hangover.  Really?  I ask you...what person in their right mind does something like that?  Oh, nevermind, to quote the great Shirley MacLaine in the film Steel Magnolias: I doubt he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.  The Academy Awards = Venerated Institution (politically swayed or not).  The Academy has been in existence since the 1920's, that's 84 years of Oscar and that piece of trash shows up looking like that!  How dare he!

But speaking of obnoxious mustaches...Bradley Cooper, 2011's Sexiest Man Alive on the cover of People Magazine sporting what the Twitterati called "His Porn-stash".  I told RJ when I saw it, "Holy lordy his mouth is so wide when he smiles, it looks like a black bar across his mouth.  Why in hell he feels the need to channel Tom Selleck is beyond me."  No Bradley, you are NOT Tom Selleck.  Get out the Barbasol and get shavin' and take your pal, that excuse for a human being called Zach Galifianakis with you.  Lather face, use a SHARP razor, shave closely, then rinse.  Like Bill Cosby in Himself reminding his children, please don't forget to dry your face afterward.

Then there was Angelina's pose with the dress that showed a lot...I mean a lot of leg.  But, as fate would have it, the gentlemen who won the award she presented (I can't remember what it was) wait, let me look it was for the writers...hahahahahaha!  I'm sorry, just the thought of her giving the writers something to write about strikes me as something very ironic...oy veh.  But, you can't keep a good writer down, the Original Screenplay trio that won the award she presented mocked her vampish posing with the dress.  Way to go guys!

I forgot one thing...The Artist.  It won best picture, but as I watched the producer high-five Harvey Weinstein, well, I knew what happened, like Chicago before it, it made me realize that money does buy Oscars, whether it be promotional team behind it to the people "coercing" others to vote for the film with the most money behind it.  The thing about The Artist -  it's a film I don't even want to see, but they do that every year, don't they?

But then, there was Billy.  Thank the Gods and creative forces in the universe because Billy Crystal brought the Oscars back up to par.  His opening with Justin Bieber just to make sure the 18-24's got their fix was just hysterical.  George Clooney kissing him was funny, but then it's Billy, what more can you ask for?  Thank you Billy, thank you, thank you, thank you. The cracks about the Kodak company filing for bankruptcy so therefore the theater was nameless "Chapter 13 Theater", "Nameless Theater" were absolutely priceless.  You are what an Oscar host always should be. 

In all, 33 tweets, two eyerolls and a lot of fun watching and Tweeting about the biggest night in Hollywood.

Have fun surfing all of the coverage of the 84th Annual Academy Awards from the Chapter 11 Theater.

As for me, I've got to read for my Media Law class.  Have a good night everyone!

Song of the know I have to do it... Billy's opening monologue...nine is the new five.

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