Now, I think this should rate high on the suck-o-meter. Sick and on top of that, it's the most romantic day of the year with the added fact that the one guy in the universe that I want to be here is 2500 miles away. Gods, this sucks.
Ok, so instead of being my own guest of honor at my own personal pity party, I've decided to make the day as fun as possible. I woke up a bit ago, still feeling like roadkill, the truck that has mowed me down every morning for the last four days has decided to effectively put it in reverse and back up over me. Yeah, this flu crap is getting tiresome...
But, I'm not going to let my spirits get beat down. Ok, fine, it's Valentine's Day. The card destined for KP left the house on the 8th, so I know that it's there on time and he'll have it today. At least he feels loved, so we can check that off the list. Why he doesn't get off of his butt and reciprocate is a mystery to me, but let's face facts, he's just probably not that into me or is incredibly guarded. Either way, I know I did my part and I'm good with that.
I have to go to the doctor in a little bit, so while I'm out, I'm going to try to quickly, and with as least human contact as possible, get some supplies for the next couple of days. I'm out of juice and anything that remotely could be described as food. I need to do some minor grocery shopping or I'm not eating for the next couple of days. It's gotta get done. I'm alone, I like it that way for the most part (unless it's times like these where I really could use the help).
However, when it comes to dinner for tonight, I think I'm going to order myself some take-out. I've been dying to get my chops on a nice fat steak along with a baked potato with all the trimmings. So, I'm going to make it my mission to find a nice little restaurant that does that as carry-out, bring it home, cuddle up under my blankets with plenty of fluids and chow down. There is no reason in the world I can't have a good meal on a day like today.
Then, after eating, I plan to have a schmaltz-fest. Eat Pray Love, Lover Come Back, and some other romantic movies are ready to be queued up on the DVD player. My bed is covered in romance novels. Now, tell me I'm not smart...instead of having a guy around here that could screw something up or have me marvel at his manly nature of having only enough blood in his body to supply one of his two heads, be forgetful or miss the boat entirely on the whole romance aspect of the day, I'm opting for the chiseled bodies and romantic leanings of the romance novel hero. Hey, it's better than the real thing by a long shot and I can't give them my horrid flu. Besides, romance novel heroes don't burp, fart or leave a mess. They come in, sweep you off your feet, then when the adventure is over you put them back up on the shelf until they're needed again. As Madeline Kahn said in the movie Clue, "...like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable." Which given the fact that I'm sneezing my head off, yeah, having a disposable guy for the day is just what I need, they don't make faces or look at you aghast that you're sick and look like roadkill.
Sick or not, I'm keeping my sense of humor because at this point, it's all I have. But, I keep reminding myself of some simple facts, I'm getting through this alone. No safety net, no helper, just getting through the bad to get to the good. I'm keeping my optimism because on days like these when the body aches, the nose feels like it's packed with cotton balls and is spewing all sorts of nasty crud, and the lungs are screaming out from coughing, that I'm forcing myself to remember what it feels like to be well and have tons of energy. I can do this, it's just that days like this suck, but they serve as a reminder to be grateful for what I have.
So, I'm going to supply myself with a romantic evening filled with things I enjoy. I've got a Mounds candy bar which I've been saving in my freezer for just the right occasion, I'm going to grab myself some popsicles to soothe my sore throat, I'm going to grab myself a steak, buy myself some flowers, some Puffs tissue with lotion (because my nose is awful raw) and remember that my happiness depends on no one else but myself.
Yeah, having a certain Hawaiian around here would be a brilliant bonus, but since he's not knocking on my door, I'll make due with what I have. Besides, being independent is sexy, right?