Monday, December 7, 2009

I really wish I had nothing to say.

Sitting for 8 hours pounding on revisions for my Comp II is not my idea of a fun night.  I'm not sure anyone else would think it was fun either.

My Comp II professor, a while back, told me something that he said he would never, ever tell another student, that I don't need to write so very much.  That in essence, I've got almost too much detail.  He said, "where other students struggle to have something to say, you don't."  He went on to say he wished more people had my ability and took the class as seriously as I do.

Sitting through 8 hours of revisions made me grateful I went out last night to see a show.  My paper, if you recall, was supposed to be between 7-10 pages.  I ended up with 16.  When you're really passionate and have really researched your subject matter, 10 pages go by really freaking fast.  So I've been just weeding out.  Ok, weeding out is an understatement, I took the weed whacker to the thing.  I did one version of the paper which ended up being 12 pages, 4 pages shorter than the original version and what I term as "Diet Sheri: great taste, half the detail."  Which in the paper we're supposed to be very detailed in our arguments, so it's left me at an impasse that I've written my professor about.  Hopefully I'll hear from him sometime tomorrow as to what to do about the paper.

But, you know what, these are the moments where I would love nothing more than to have nothing to say.  But, it is my curse and between not being able to say what is on my mind and being able to write about things in my style but be a bit long, I'll go long.  It's worth it.  My quantity has quality.  My guildies in WoW say that my Walls 'o' text critically strike and kill people.  But more often than not, I'm told I'm a great read.

So let's get on to the good read!

After class on Thursday, I drove over to the MGM Grand and did something I should have done long ago.  Give myself some love.  I found out that Robin Williams was coming to Vegas on December 5th back in October and I about nearly had a heart attack of my own when I found out.  Robin?  Here?  OMG! 

So two months later, just this past Thursday afternoon, I stopped at the MGM Grand, bought my ticket with cash money I had earned by tutoring my mom on her computer and giggled like a little girl on the way back out to the car.  I had a ticket to see my life-long all-time favorite comedian and actor.  Had my ex and I still have been together, I seriously doubt I would have been treated to the absolute joy of seeing Robin Williams last night.  Upon asking about going to the show, he would have told me "we'll look into that", his usual dismissal when I asked for things I really wanted which would have meant "NO".  But, I didn't have that on Thursday afternoon.  Nope!  I had the money, I walked up to the box office, I bought the ticket and I took myself to the show.  I went alone.  I have no shame in saying that!  I had a BALL!  It was on my terms and my time and that was something I felt was truly rewarding myself for getting through the last 7 months alone in the apartment, all of the crap my ex put me through and getting awesome grades at school.

I have to say, I prematurely rewarded myself for my hard work during the semester by taking myself to see Robin Williams at the MGM Grand last night.  I'm sitting in sweats and my t-shirt from the concert that says "Robin Williams:  Weapons of Self Destruction".  I never laughed so hard in my life.  I watched the show again tonight on HBO that they recorded in Washington DC and I have to say, seeing Robin live has been one of my lifelong dreams, but when you see him live, there is an energy that courses through the room that makes him 100 times funnier than he is on TV.  I never dreamed it was possible that he could actually be funnier than he is already.  He's my favorite actor/comic and he's my teaching idol.

What put me into stitches is the fact that he covered basically the last 4 months of my life in that hour and a half show.

First off, he talked about GPS devices.  You remember me, Mom and Dad on the road from the Kansas City airport to Blackwater?  Robin lit that experience up with massive stadium lights.  He's ranting about the GPS voice and I'm nearly pissing myself I was laughing so very hard.  I had tears rolling down the sides of my face and my abs were screaming for mercy as he just kept piling it on.

Then, he talks about Intelligent Design.  As you recall, my Comp II paper is about Evolution vs. Intelligent Design.  Oh holy gods...the description of the Intelligent Design of male and female genitalia had me holding onto my sides again, going into coughing fits and cursing the day I became a smoker because I was laughing so hard.  Garnish and Curtains.  That's all I have to say.  hahahahahahahaha.

Then he talks about marriage and men who mess around.  I nearly about peed again when he basically just tore into guys who cheat.  It struck close to home, but that's the thing about comedy, you have to resonate with the tragedy to really see the funny parts of it.

Then, he talks about alcoholism and addiction.  Been there and done that with the addiction thing, not going there again, don't ask.  I've got 9 years of sobriety and I am NOT going to get sucked back into that.  But how he talked about the different drugs, holding onto the armrests of the chair was all I could do to not fall out of my seat.

But then came the cherry on the cake.  Directory assistance.  Now, as you recall, I found out about the concert on the way to school back in October.  I drive past the corner of Las Vegas Blvd and Tropicana every time I go down to school.  There, up on the billboard for the MGM Grand was ROBIN WILLIAMS: LIVE DECEMBER 5TH.  TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE MGM BOX OFFICE.  Now, I never use my cell phone and drive if I can avoid it.  It took every last ounce of willpower not to snatch that phone out of the bag and call the MGM.  I waited until I parked and was walking to class.  I call Directory Assistance.  It was just as Robin described in his section of the show, the computerized voice coming on and saying "Directory assistance, what city and state?"

Me:  Las Vegas, Nevada.

Directory Assistance:  "What listing please"

Me: MGM Grand Box Office.

Directory Assistance: "Did you say MGM Grand?"

Me:  Yes.
The phone goes out.  The call hangs up.

I take a few more steps towards the building where my class is at.
I dial 411 again.

"Directory assistance, what city and state?"

Me:  Las Vegas, NV.

Directory Assistance:  "What listing please"

Me: MGM Grand Box Office.

Directory Assistance: "Did you say MGM Grand?"

Me: Yes.

Directory Assistance: "The number is xxx-xxxx, if you'd like the number repeated, please press 1 or I'll connect you at no additional charge."

Me:  Fuck!  Just connect the call already.

I look at the phone, "Remember me?  Gotta go to class?  I want my ticket to Robin...hurry the fuck up!"

The call connects "Hello and thank you for calling the MGM, this is Betty how may I direct your...

I have a Robin moment from The Birdcage where he's serving dinner and yells at Agador "who sets the table without looking at the bowls", and goes into a tirade of "goddamn you, goddamn you, goddamn you!" Hysterically yelling at Val, "Go Go Go!"

I was staring at the phone doing the goddamn you, goddamn you! part.  Thinking to myself "Go Go Go!  Go to class, call from inside!"  Becky had to hold onto me as I jumped up and down, nearly hyperventilating at the fact that Robin Williams was coming to town, that I had to find out how much tickets were and apologized profusely for using my cell phone before class started on a Tuesday trying desperately to connect with the MGM Grand Box Office to find out how much tickets were.

I dial 411 again.

Directory Assistance:  "What listing please"

Me: MGM Grand Box Office.

Directory Assistance: "Did you say MGM Grand?"

Me: Yes.

Directory Assistance: "The number is xxx-xxxx, if you'd like the number repeated, please press 1 or I'll connect you at no additional charge."

Me:  Goddamnit!  Just connect the freaking call before I get disconnected again.

The call connects "Hello and thank you for calling the MGM, this is Betty how may I direct your call?

Me:  I'd like to get tickets for the Robin Williams show on December 5th.  Can you connect me to the box office?

MGM PBX Operator: "Oh the concierge can help you with that.  One moment please, I'll connect you."

I look at the clock, it's 12:50, class starts at 1.  I'm sitting there, cussing at the phone, repeating 'goddamnit, goddamnit' in Robin's voice as I'm waiting for the concierge to pick up.

Finally at 12:55, the concierge lady picks up, I get the ticket prices and hang up the phone, just as my professor starts class. 

How Robin put it is:

You dial directory assistance,

"What city and state please"

"Las Vegas, Nevada"

"What listing?"

"MGM Grand"

"Did you say Mirage"


"What listing?"

"MGM Grand"

"Did you say Bellagio?"


"If you would like to speak to a representative please press 1"


"For English, please press 2"


"If you're sure you don't want Spanish, press 3"


and he goes through all the numbers to finally get to Zero and what does he get?

An operator from India.

That sums it up right there.

But I'm thrilled to death I got to see Robin.  He's the bomb.  Plus, I've edited my paper.  Now all that's left is the School Law final tonight at 6 and turning in my paper and writing my final exam essay at 1pm on Tuesday.

I'll be back with another entry to wrap up the semester on Wednesday.

Peace, Love and Have a blast out there!!!
The rules you live by are the ones you make for yourself.


No comments:

Post a Comment