Saturday, May 14, 2011

Sick of potholes.

I know I should have sat down to write before now, but to be honest, I don't really have anything to say. Amazing as that is, I know that I should remind myself how I've worked like a dog on my apartment for the last couple of days.

I don't know what it is about me but when I'm studying during the semester, everything around my apartment just goes to heck and a hand basket because between going to school, then studying all the time, my living space just gets neglected. It does, I'm a horrible person for it. But at least since the semester has ended I've taken time for my space just like I've taken time for my life.

It doesn't hurt that I'm considering dating (the jury is still out on that). But in all that, I'm not sure I'm really ready. I really don't want to talk about why I'm having doubts, but I will say that on Wednesday, I ran into an old adversary...let me give you a hint...


It was a pothole that dumped yet another metaphorical cup of scalding hot coffee right into my lap. It had me screaming on top of my lungs one minute only to be followed by me being in a big heap of tears the next. While I have taken great joy not mentioning the colossal bonehead in a long time, I should have never doubted my ex's capability to do horrid things. I wasn't expecting his idiocy and classless nature to bother me anymore. I just wasn't expecting the shot to the chin I took to come out of nowhere and leave me feeling like I had been mowed down yet one more time. After it happened, I called Nan. In my times of need on this topic, she always comes through for me. She told me it was still going to hurt for a while; that they don't tell you in the fine print that you don't feel normal until after year number four.

Here's my thinking on that, I don't want to wait until year four. I want it to stop annoying me. I want to get on with my life and every time I think I get clear and I'm ok, there's another pothole just waiting for me.

But, pothole or no, things have to get done, so I cleaned up. Here, this is my living room...

It's finally free of books on the floor, notes all over the coffee table and my computer desk just weighed down with papers. Now the only thing on the floor is my DVD collection that really doesn't have a home at the moment. I'm so proud of myself for getting everything organized and perfectly fine if people want to come over. My kitchen is cleaned up and I'm in the midst of doing enough laundry to choke a horse so my bedroom is in acceptable condition.

I'm pleased with how everything has shaped up, and I'm just wishfully thinking that one day some cutie will show up at my door armed with a single white gerbera daisy to take me out. While I'm waiting at least I'm able to enjoy my living space.

As I was watching television today, I found myself ironically flipping between My Best Friend's Wedding and It's Complicated (which is playing on HBO for the fifteen millionth time), just at the point I was getting ready to hurl myself off my balcony (lol), I lucked out with something that made me smile, David Bowie in the movie Labyrinth. I had never seen it before, but I happened into it in the middle, only long enough to see a clip of Bowie looking in his usual cool/bizarre way in a very trippy scene with Jennifer Connelly to the song "As the World Falls Down." At that point, I knew the day couldn't get any more ironic, and on top of the fact I'm not really into Henson puppets, I flipped the channel after the song was over, finally turning off the television altogether and realizing I needed to be writing about the exciting adventure that was cleaning up my apartment. You know, I can write about gardening and make it sound glamorous, but when it comes to cleaning up my apartment, I can't make it sexy no matter how hard I try. It's just things that have to get done. I'm just glad I got going and got them done.

You know, I just realized it's Saturday night. I should be out, but I just can't bring myself to go through the trouble of wishful make-upping. I'd rather save my M.A.C. for a special occasion.

I think I'll do the thing that I love most right now, go out on my balcony and enjoy the evening air. It's great entertainment, it's inexpensive and I'll be outside.

Happy Saturday. Here, have some Bowie. Can my day get any more ironic?

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